Form submitted successfully, thank you.

Error submitting form, please try again.

Everyone of these pictures and every story told within this blog, are straight from my heart. I am in an exciting time in my life where I finally see that there are no coincidences....and I don't believe that it is by chance that you are reading this. This new chapter of my blog is called Living Life Beyond.  Beyond can have many different meanings. There is just something about that person that I photographing, that inspires me. After the story unfolds, it is evident to me of how they are living beyond. They inspire me...YOU inspire me!

Communtiy

Hello my loved ones!!! It has been many months since I have posted and after reflecting on why I haven’t…it comes down to living and doing. Let’s see if I can get these thoughts out into a cohesive blog entry:) The way I see it is that I was getting a lot of my community fix over the years on the internet. Yes, I was getting out and participating in a social life as well, but I was getting a lot of my emotional feedback from talking ‘about’ life instead of mindfully living it. I have been doing so much lately in life that I am so excited to share, but my mind got out of the mode of thinking about how every situation would turn into a post. A lot of what I have been pondering lately has to do with the healing powers of community. Although one could argue that a cyber community could be healing, what I have found is there is the no replacement for real face to face (in the flesh:) community. Now the tricky part for most people comes down to a couple factors….”Do I even crave communtiy? Where would I find community if I wanted one? To find the answers to these questions we go to churches, book clubs, ladies nights, and every other social event that crosses our evite list;) The kinds of community that feed the soul are ones that we build on our own. We are in the right communtiy when we are gently asked to grow. We all need more retreats and tools to bring into our adult life to help us grow to our potential instead of getting comfy with the potential that we have reached. I talk to so many people that haven’t done a thing lately to stretch their limits, challenge their thoughts by trying something new. We think that because we are all grown up that we shouldn’t have to go get more tools that will help us in turn with our friendships, marriages, parenting, and all the things that are challenging us everyday to grow.
We are always putting out an energy that is attracting people into our lives at all time. Take this quote from the current book that I am reading…(The Power)
“If you are feeling enthusiastic, your frequency of enthusiasm will attract enthusiastic people, situations, and events. If you are feeling fearful, your frequency of fear will attract fearful people, situations, and events to you. You are never left in any doubt about the frequency you’re on because your frequency is always exactly whatever you’re feeling! You can change your frequency at any time by changing how you feel, and everything around you will change because you’re on a new frequency.” What have you been feeling lately? Are you in survival mode, or are you living? What is your community reflecting to you?

Isn’t that something to think about:) I have made the mistake of going into groups thinking that that was my new community. I went into Univera feeling at home and then once I got deep into it I couldn’t hush the burning desire for a deeper sense of community. My mistake was thinking that I had to fit into it, instead of using the amazing network to attract my own community (within a community). So I found out that the work isn’t done when you find a great community…you have to consciously connect within that community and make it your own, based on your energy of course. I come from an incredibly strong community and never really was conscious about creating my own. Community happened to me. I was born into this amazing family that continues to be my most loving and healing community (btw…drink every time I say the word community in this post;). But when I moved away from my family I was on the eternal search for groups to cling too. How healing were all those groups…well, most of the time I wasn’t looking for healing, I was looking to have fun. Now that I am on a more mindful path in my life, it is amazing to see what I am attracting. I have always had incredible people in my life and I am so thankful for that!
Here is a pic of the most beautiful community that I was born into. Thank you to every one of you for being in my organic garden and for loving me. “Everything you want to be, do, or have comes from love.” I know that everything that I have, am and do comes from the love that my family has planted in my heart. Gratitude is rushing out of me like the river of Capistrano:) So I would ask all of you…who is it that is in your community? What kind of energy are you putting out there? What are you asking for in life? Is it being delivered but you are missing the blessing because it’s not how you expected to come to you? Go out with a new enthusiasm today and see who you will attract into your beautiful life!
The other night Tiana and I got out there and had an incredible night together where we got to experience first hand the exact level of enthusiasm that we are putting out there! We attracted some of the most enthusiastic people that are wanting to wake up and live life to the fullest. We had a wellness/networking event that we put on together and the process of putting it together was one of the most empowering experiences that I have had in my life. The turn out was amazing and the seed that is planted is growing like it is on steroids. I am so excited for what the future holds and all the people that we will be able to help in creating their own healthy community!

December 5, 2010 - 11:08 am Karilyn - Yay for blogging again, and yay for building your own community! I can see that I'm beginning to so that here, and it's awesome. I always thought you had to find a great community, but more and more I've been learning that through my frequency, they find me! Thanks for the soul food:-)

December 5, 2010 - 9:57 pm Jake - I want to thank you for being my strong community leader. So awesome to see your inspiring words again. Here's to finding the right people around us to force us to grow. Much Love - Your Hubby.

December 7, 2010 - 3:36 pm Chelsey - Such a beauty-FULL family & community - we are SO lucky aren't we! When you grow up in such a strong family, surrounded by other strong families & a strong community - you just automatically think it's like this everywhere! I love that you are seeking out & finding new strength among you ... and I love hubbies that blog stalk *cough, cough* er-uh comment ;) always a good sign! Happy Holidays!

December 7, 2010 - 9:14 pm Willow - hey lady!! i am sooooooooooo thankful for you being a part of my dear friend/photographer community!! your words are inspiring as usual and so in line with the things i've been thinking about lately! if you arent a part of something, who is going to support you? encourage you? inspire you? community is so important. its such a huge part of why i am the person i am today and it started with my family "community"!! woo hoo family!!!

December 9, 2010 - 8:25 pm cindy - So...here I was thinking tonight about how every day flies by without calling my incredible friend Kathy. I thought...maybe she's updated her blog? Then here it was...this beautiful blog entry about LIVING life like people are meant to. Not with just Facebook, texting, Twitter, and blogging. But LIVING and surrounding yourself with your community and drinking it up. :) I'm taking a half-day tomorrow, so I can start my weekend early with my husband and 2 dogs...my Montana family community. Love you K! Thank you for always pouring your heart out in each blog posting!!! P.S. When I saw Johnna in the middle of the photo, I had to do a double take. She's grown up so much.....just gorgeous. Your family is BEAUTIFUL!

My Nephew

This is what it is all about. Being able to use my talent and passion to capture the most important people in my life. A gift that is so unique to me…and I get to share it with the inspirations of my life! Meet Stefan. He is an incredible kid with a huge heart! He is an amazing athlete…Xcountry skier and runner and probably anything else he gave himslef the confidence to try. He is in love with his family. He’s a role model for all the other nieces and nephews and I adore him:) I didn’t get to put up my niece, Kayla’s shoot that I did this summer as well because she had WAY more outfits and her video was about 3 songs longer:) Here she is though in this shoot. We call her my Sherpa because she packs everything around (outfits, equipment, etc.) for me during the shoots. She is really starting to get into photography now and I couldn’t be more happy about that. That she will be able to carry an amazing tool through life capturing her point of view on the world and saving herself thousands on therapy because she will have a creative outlet;) I am so proud of both of you for the amazing, little adults that you have become. I know that you are going to love life to the fullest and I am already so happy with all that you have accomplished in life thus far. Love you both! Teta K

Stefan 2010 from Kathy Carlisle on Vimeo.
And my favorite moment of the shoot…..This is Lily Bella and I know your heart is melting right now! There is something just so sweet about an older sibling and the love they show through their nurturing ways. I am so thankful that I had so many older siblings loving on me at all times (well, maybe not all times;)

September 15, 2010 - 10:45 pm robyn - you are fabulous!! I love the photos and the feelings I get from looking at them :0)

September 16, 2010 - 3:19 pm llynskyn - I luf you all times!!!

September 18, 2010 - 12:43 am Suzanne - What a doll! And how old is he? I love the brows!

September 19, 2010 - 10:15 am Eryn - Oh, I so love the pictures of your nephew and Lily Bella. Yep, heart was melting - you nailed that.

September 19, 2010 - 1:02 pm cindy - This is sad, but true: I haven't been to your blog in so long because I've been an emotional wreck. So, here I am on a sunny Sunday morning feeling the want + need to catch up with my beautiful friend's photography and moving words. But surprisingly - I'm NOT crying! I'm full of inspiration, smiles and love love love. I feel like a kid in a candy store with so many blog posts to catch up on! Stefan with Lily Bella melted my heart...

1st Day!

One of those days that every parent can relate to. Maybe not every parent can relate to the fact that after all these years…I still cry:( It’s the little things really. Jamie is in half day kindergarten this year and I still don’t know how I feel about him growing up too fast. He wanted a Ho-Hawk as he calls is, and I was exspecially tickled when Jalena asked me to do her hair as well:)


This year was especially amazing because Jake and I got to experience it together for the first time in a LONG time….Usually I call him crying…and actually this year there were less tears probably because he was by my side. He was on lunch duty while I was on hair and wardrobe:)  Another special moment was all the helping that was going on between the 3 of them. They were very excited for Jamie’s first day!

Classic door shot…and the last time they will be walking hand in hand to school ALL together.

It was so special to be able to walk to school the first day…a light mist and great cloud coverage for pics;)

He was so brave and he settled right in. I was almost sad that he didn’t need me more, but then I slapped myself sill, and celebrated our accomplishments in helping with independence!

My favorite part of the day!!! When they come running off the bus or in the house looking for hugs:)

September 13, 2010 - 6:44 am Elle J - Happy School Days for your family this year. Your pictures are so fun - I enjoy the "day in the life" shots. Beautiful family.

September 13, 2010 - 8:37 am Eryn - Awesome pics! That was a great post. Yay for the Carlizy Clan!

September 13, 2010 - 9:34 pm Erin - So great to hear Jamie had a great first day... not that I had ANY worries whatsoever! It's so cute to see his "worried" face in some of the pictures on his way to school... wish I could have seen his "full of excitement and confidence" face when he came off the bus :) Hope they all had a great start!

September 19, 2010 - 1:14 pm cindy - My son is all grown up! ;) SO PROUD of you and Jake. Blessed parents = blessed children. Have an incredible time this school year!

RIP Rose

Rose…Rosi..Rosa…Rosita…just a few of the nick names for this furry, little ball of bliss that has lit up our life over the last month. Doesn’t really make you want to go have that morning cup of tea or coffee, does it:)

One year The Bennett’s (family away from family) decided it would be the perfect gift for Christmas to introduce us into the world of pets. Mind you…I had three LITTLE ones at the time…none of which were capable of feeding or cleaning up after themselves, let alone a hamster, but we were thankful nonetheless. We really wanted to love him, squeeze him, and name him George…but after two days of trying to hold him that resulted in bites and a couple dropping mishaps (no injuries), we decided it was best to wait until we were more grown up and could handle such a beast, and gave them to a friend. Fast forward about 4 years. This is it… the perfect time to get our first real pet (fish and frogs don’t count because we couldn’t squeeze them). In walks Keeta into our life…so innocent and peaceful looking.

We knew immediately that is was the right timing, she filled a void we didn’t even know was there, and she enhanced the love in the household 10 folds. Just like that, our craving for expansion was quenched….for about 2 years;) You know the story, once you get one pet….it’s very hard to come home from the pet store without a new pet. I think I will blame the new found obsession with hamsters on those damn Zhu Zhu pets! Jalena is very similar to me in that she gets something in her head that she wants and the persistence is relentless! We told her that it was horrible timing with summer coming because we were going to be traveling and no one would be able to take care of it and love it. It didn’t buy us much more time though. We told her that she had to do some research…what kinds of hamsters are the best for kids, how do you hold them, what do you feed them, what cages are the best, etc. Well, she just surfed the web and within hours she was giving me nothing less than a power point presentation with all the info I needed and more. I was so proud of her diligence and I couldn’t take it anymore…now I wanted a hamster…Jake didn’t stand a chance at this point. So Happy Birthday to Lou…Let the adventure begin…

Rose Present from Kathy Carlisle on Vimeo.

After 3 pet stores and looking through about 10 different species, we settled on a Dwarf, Winter White, little ray of light. Jalena decided to name her after her Grandma Rose that she loved very much. Now comes

….the rest of the story.
It started as an odd, but beautiful (maybe a little too obsessed now looking back) relationship between Tiny Rose and Goliath Keeta. Every chance Keeta could get to smell every crevasse of the fragile cage, she would.

They would always go nose to nose and appear to talk through energy. I was sure that Rose was asking her to get her out of the cage. Well, after exactly one month (and a day) of us taking every precaution not to ever leave the door open to the room we kept Rose in, and never let them have unsupervised visits, our fateful day came. We were going on a trip to Lacey, WA and our friend Aaron was going to get the kids off to school for us. I took Rose out of the guest room and put her in the studio so her antics wouldn’t keep him awake. Jake and I worked on the computers until late and walked out like zombies not even noticing that we left the door open…not to mention Keeta’s door….oh, yeah you can see it coming. A mugshot tells the rest of the story…

What we think was originally suppose to be a rescue mission….turned horribly wrong and resulted in an accidental murder:( From the looks of the crime scene, it appears that Keeta attempted a rescue, and in their aggressive celebration, Rose was crushed. Something told me to go check my email one last time before we took off, so I came into the studio and sat down (didn’t even see the catastrophe in the room). I heard Keeta nudge the cage and knew in a second…to look back and see if the shock I was feeling had truth to it. There was the cage, knocked off the chair…I couldn’t even take it all in…looked at Keeta and gasped and as if she knew what she had done, she coward out of the room.

And then I saw her…sweet Rose…lifeless on the ground, covered in slobber. My first reaction is always to cry for Jake but I didn’t expect to have blame be the next reaction. I said, “Jake, Keeta killed Rose!”
“What?”
“You left the door open and Keeta killed Rose!” (Basically…I told him that ‘he’ killed Rose)
His shoulders dropped and he went running up to the studio to assess the situation. Later it dawned on me and we laughed together about my blaming tactics and shock that I was in. I got a little too close to that little bugger:(
You are not going to believe this….
As I was just writing this Jake came in and started reading. Then Keeta came in and I started to interrogate her for fun. It went like this…
“Keeta..where is Rose? What happened to your friend? What did you do?”
Then she turns and walks over to the crime scene. She sniffs and picks up a piece of corn. She licks it, caresses it with her jowls, tosses it into the air…then I say ” then what”….and RIGHT on cue…she whacks it with her paw and looks at it. HOLY $%^@! Jake and I are trippin’ out and laughing hysterically! She just played out the whole scene and I think that she is innocent. She was playing with her and it turned into a Mice Of Men story.

I will save the rest of the story for another post (because it gets a little more sad with telling the kids and what not) and I will post Jake’s conversation with Lou when he had to tell her. But today we are celebrating this little fallen soldier’s life;(


Rose’s first playdate with Sunday. Kimber came over with her hamster to show us how to handle them and love them. She gave Lou bravery…well until Sunday BIT Laney (ultimately bonding her with Rose).


Good-bye sweet Rose. Thank you for blessing our life and teaching us to be in the moment (instead of fearing a chomp on our fingers), and for loving us. We are so sorry that Keeta loves so HARD…she hurts us with her love sometimes as well:)

September 12, 2010 - 9:27 am Erin - What sweet photos of such a sweet little critter. What a sad story. :(

September 12, 2010 - 7:27 pm shannon sewell - oh my gosh.. that made me cry.. poor little rose :( hope jalena is doing okay... give her our hugs! ~S

September 12, 2010 - 9:13 pm amysurface7@comcast.net - oh dang...i am sure that was so sad to tell the kids, i know how much they adored her...sweet rose...

September 14, 2010 - 2:49 pm Tiana Meckel - Oh little Rose.... :-( She was so darn cute... One thing i have to say is the way you and jake handled the situation is a perfect example how amazing you both are as parents. In lacey we obviously knew it was a sad day, but you are an amazing mom and everyday i learn new tools from both of you that i am excited to put in my little box of knowledge for the future. Love you ;-)

September 19, 2010 - 5:45 pm cindy - OMG. This is straight out of a movie. I'm crying, laughing and wanting to hear more. There are so many lessons to be learned here...but you said it best: Keeta loves SO hard. Rose is running around in Hampster Heaven now...

Special K

Wow…you look amazing! What are you doing?
You’re glowing.
Whatever you’re doing, it’s working.
You seem to have an aura about you.
Your smile is contagious.
You’re not handling this the way most would.
I want to do what you’re doing….
This sure beats the comments almost 2 years ago. I don’t think I have heard the words, “I’m sorry” when referring to the MS diagnoses for at least a year. That is just awesome! This has been a year filled with meeting incredible people, strengthening my faith (trusting myself…not going to church more;), keeping priorities in check and continuing to gain perspective, LOTS of books and education, healing and above all…GRATITUDE! How did I get so lucky to get such a wake-up call at the ripe age of 34?

Many people always want to know what I am doing with diet, healing, exercise, etc. I have learned over the years that we are all looking for the quick fix and the special pill to take. I could list everything I do…but how do you know that it would work for you? You would just get on my path and realize that it doesn’t suit you at all. I have been hesitant to define anything on my path that is “working” because I want to keep being mindful, continue to grow and keep the curiosity alive. I’m not looking for a “cure”. This was a di-ease in my body that was trying to get my attention. I know a bigger secret that takes all the fear away from those two little letters (MS…which is just a way for us to define it to try to understand it and label it). I know that in order to grow from life you have to be curious enough to let it in and wonder about it. That secret I was talking about…is that my body can heal itself. There is no one on this planet that can convince me otherwise. I carried 3 miracles in my womb with a meassage directly from above that says…”if you can create 3 human beings, you can do anything, your body is amazing and so complex…you will never fully understand it’s capabilities”. I know my body can heal up from all the damage I have caused it by being numb for so many years.

With that being said….I have had MANY different pawns on my chess board of life, at any given time. You know that I have been on Mona Vie, special diets, supplements galore, and the list goes on. I was sitting with Jake one day and we were discussing just this. I had been journalling on the subject all week and it all boiled down to the “one truth” as I called it. I know that no matter what path I am on and how many different pawns are helping, none of it will matter if I don’t believe in it. Thy pawns will come and go, but one this will always remain the same, me. It’s knowing that everything is in my life for a reason. It is listening to that voice inside me that knows what is right. It’s a faith in myself that I never knew I was looking for. A love for myself that I didn’t know I craved. My “one truth”.

I have spent a lot of time, reading, and processing with anyone that will listen on what this “one truth’ is. So it is no surprise that when I met my friend Susan at her store (The fossil Cartel), I trusted that the sandpaper effect was something I was suppose to go towards;) So I invited her to tea. Of course we hit it off and talked for at least 2 hours about everything under the sun until passion was overflowing from our souls! Then she buzz kills me and says something about a supplemental drink….screech…STOP…the wall goes up. I know all about MLM companies and I am actually in one right now that recently feel off my chess board. So as she is asking me questions about what I want in life and all those thought provoking questions and I start to shut down towards her…and I realize this…so what did I have to do? I knew that I was suppose to go towards it because it was runbbing me the wrong (right) way. So I tell her that I will go to a meeting with her and asked her the name of it again. She says, “Univera…U.N.I.V.E.R.A….it means……(dramatic pause)……..One Truth!!!” “Shut the Front door” I say to her! Of course it does.

So I check in with what my prayers and desires are at this time….
*To be financially free, so we can start to travel and grow together.
*To work along side Jake and work from home.
(Mind you…we had the potential to do this in Mona Vie as well and we felt like we had missed our boat when we started to realize that we didn’t fit into the community. I wasn’t finding the testimonies and healing community that I was yearning for.)
*Not only did I want to be a part of a wellness community, I wanted a place where I could let go of the MS diagnosis all together and wonder what it would sound like to say I healed.
*I wanted to be an inspiration and be able to talk to LOTS of people about mindful living.
What I didn’t expect was for all these possibilities to come in the form of another MLM company;) But it did…and I am sitting here thinking to myself once again…how did I get so lucky….Well, it’s not luck. It’s awesome. I put it out into the Universe and God is always listening to me:)

So if you are curious about anything that I am doing on my path…be curious about Univera. It is transforming our lives. We are a part of a wellness community that challenges me everyday to be the healthiest, happiest person that I can be. Oh, and I get to actually help people like I have always yearned to. I am making a real difference in people’s lives and kick starting them to be more mindful about their own lives. I will be sharing testimonies as they come in, but for now…this is mine:)

I am able to be happy in my own skin. To look at my body in the mirror and say I love you. To fill the voids that I have created over the years with damaging records that have been skipping over and over.
My symptoms are minimal and I can actually feel my body healing.
The stomacaches are gone and I am starting to finally relate to Dr. Oz’s talks on healthy poops (TMI:) lol
My nails are strong and growing faster then I ever thought possible.
Is it possible that my grey hairs are slowing down and I don’t have to get my hair colored every 3 weeks (I think I am ready to try every 4)?

I am playing volleyball stronger then ever before.
I am more playful with the kids again.
I don’t nap everyday anymore.
I don’t drink tea or coffee everyday anymore! This is HUGE!
And I feel like my smile tells an inspiring story that I yearn to tell the whole world about.
Should I mention that my sex life has taken a turn I didn’t know was needed (dang it…tmi again:) Let’s just say Stella got her groove back:) lol!
This journey has been nothing short of amazing this last year. I feel like it is the beginning of a 5 year cycle and this 5 year plan is going to be the most present and fulfilling years of my life thus far. Go figure my word for the year is Presence!

I love my life and I am so grateful that I am able to share it. Take what you will for your own journey. Enjoy the beautiful ride and begin to trust that inner voice that is your one truth. Your life is unique and that makes you special. Special K signing off;)
Oh and email me anytime you are curious about a product that could possibly (probably) be just what you have been wishing for…Univera :)

August 24, 2010 - 9:00 pm amysurface7@comcast.net - yay for k! i need a little more special k in my life ;) you are incredibly inspiring to me!!! thank you always for sharing. :)

August 25, 2010 - 2:13 pm Lindsey Viersen - Well Well Special K! This is exactly the dose I needed this morning...instead of waking up and eating a bowl of bitchies...I grabbed by bowl of fruit and enjoyed your post! :) Congratulations on your amazing journey--I am so proud of you! Cheers to Happy Living!

August 25, 2010 - 4:07 pm Kai - You make me smile, Teta. Love always, Shrek:)

Challenge Life

Life…it’s amazing isn’t it! I just got back from just about 3 weeks with my family in Alaska and I would have to say that I am super charged now. I probably won’t get around to working on the pictures of my family for a while because I am working on a couple projects right now, so I thought I would put one of the projects up so you could get a little AK-fix;) I got the rare opportunity to go with my older brother, Mike to Kotzebue, Alaska to capture a b-ball camp that he was putting on. Mike has traveled to villages around Alaska’s interior for at least 16 years!!! He has a partner now and they created Challenge Life together. Their mission is to go to rural parts of Alaska to provide individuals the opportunity for a happy, healthy and productive life through education and stimulating programs that are mentally challenging and physically demanding. I have so much admiration for my brothers extremely LARGE heart and incredible work ethic. I don’t think I have ever heard him complain once about a camp that he has put on….not even if he has to sleep on the floor of a school, or freeze his butt off. I just wish there were someone following him around on all of his adventures because I am pretty sure the story would be magnificent! I think he should thank my Mom for those rosie-colored glasses that he wears around to get through some of the interesting circumstances they find themselves in;)

While I was in the village (I guess Kotzebue is too large to call a village, but it is village life to me)…I was overwhelmed by the different lifestyle. Of course it is small…everyone literally knows everyone…white is the minority…the food is a far cry from what ‘I’ would consider healthy (I am pretty sure that the soda companies make billions off of the rural parts of AK alone). With that said, the most beautiful message that I pulled from Kotz was SIMPLICITY. The housing is simple. The options of the day are simple. The life is simple. I put ’simplify on my dream board, but I had no idea that it would come to me like this. Mike and I have been brainstorming on how I can bring my talents in volleyball and photography into the business to help inspire and teach….but for this trip I just wanted to try to tell his story. I didn’t get a lot of him teaching like I would have liked because he just got through a shoulder surgery and was injured when we went up…but I was able to get a lot of his partner, Al’s story as we all adventured together for 2 days.

I am so grateful for this opportunity to go see a new part of Alaska and to capture so many stories that I will carry with my forever. Soon I hope to put another version of the trip that involves the point of view of my sister and I as we tracked down an author-crush of hers. This video below is a long one and it entails a lot of what Challenge Life’s journey is as they go from village to village. Thank you Mike, Lynn, Al, Amy and Edmund for all the memories. I giggle at all the back-stories that a lot of these photos hold as I watch this:)

Mike…because I am a ‘words of affirmation’ kind of girl…I wanted to write a few more words to you:)
I am in awe of your ability to create such an amazing business that gives to so many people. You have spent so much time away from your family and I know that the conditions are usually less than desirable to many people’s standards. I know that you have touched so many people’s lives and that should never go unnoticed. You probably don’t always get to see or hear about how you effect a young child’s life that you took the time to notice and care about. Even if it is 1 out of 50 kids that end up going to college because of your program…that’s a success to that one person. But I see the smiles of the kids faces as you talk to them, or hand them a t-shirt, or just say hi, and that ripple effect is affecting more like ALL 50 kids! They admire you and they look up to you because you ’see’ them. I see you as well, and I am hella proud of you. I just glow when I watch this video because it has so many moments that are forever embedded in my heart as I watched you do what you love. So keep up the hard work, because you are making a difference in this world by just being you. I love you and hope to tell more of your story in the future!

August 17, 2010 - 1:57 pm Erin - That was a really cool thing to watch... I love all of the different pictures you got of basketball hoops... would make a great photo montage. Love it all and what it does for the kids. Can't wait to hear more about it.

August 18, 2010 - 9:04 am amy - Ahh, so cool! And the C. Cope and One Repub songs are perfect for this! WE always listen to the same tunes at the same times in our lives....twins! Good work as usual my friend!

August 18, 2010 - 12:48 pm Miranda - How amazing... The positive impact you can have in these young kids' lives is so rewarding and is why I coach. To literally watch some kids transform into confident powerful people in the short time you are with them is AWESOME! I am so happy for your brother that he is actively seeking this wonderful cause.

August 28, 2010 - 3:52 pm Andrea - Kath, that was awesome! Thanks for bringing me back to the village for a minute and getting my AK fix. Challenge Life is a great program and I'm glad to see it continues on. Miss you!

What’s in your tool bag?

For all you couples…or people wondering what it takes to have a successful relationship….when was the last time that you gathered tools to help make a great relationship? Where do you get them? Is your marriage thriving or is it in a numb state? Is the only thing left in your relationship, the memory (a shadow of the happier selves) of what you both used to be? “I don’t know who he is anymore…he’s not the man I married (or started dating), she’s changed.” Well what did you do personally to stay interested in the person he was becoming? Is it LUCK what Jake and I have?

Luck…Schmuck! Let’s look at what we are all attracted to in the beginning…
We love the chase. Respect. Genuine interest in each other and all that we are made up of. Trust. Excitement. All those butterflies in our stomach. Of course it is exciting for another human being to point out everything amazing about us and love us unconditionally. Then why the heck do we work so hard at pointing out all our flaws, and put conditions on our love? It takes a lot of unconscious work to break down a relationship, but what if it took a lot less work to wake up and make it grow from the beginning?

I know I am asking a lot of questions and not giving any answers…where the heck am I going with this:) Well, I just don’t think there is enough talk about healthy marriages and I believe that if you are mindful about your marriage, then you can’t help but be mindful in SO many other aspects of your life. When looking at your relationship, we should have a tool in our bags (maybe a shock collar) to remind us that every time we are quick to say, “he doesn’t do this…he’s this…she’s that…” that we are looking towards the wrong solution. WE ARE THE SOLUTION! And we are the problem. We have to learn to take a step back and see what it is that we are putting into the relationship.What is OUR part?

What if I told you that after watching you interact in your relationship for only 15 minutes, that I could predict with a 98% accuracy whether or not it would end in divorce over the 15 years? O.K. I totally couldn’t with my tools, but Dr. John Gottman could. Yes, this is the same guy that we went to Seattle for a marriage workshop for a few months back. Well, his studies popped up in a book that I am reading called Blink. It got me thinking again about all those people around me that tell me that Jake and I are lucky. Well, if by luck you mean, we don’t talk down to each other EVER…then yes, we have created the luckiest relationship in the world;) Gottman says that the #1 killer of a marriage is the presence of contempt. If he observes on or more partners in the marriage showing contempt toward the other, he considers it the single more important sign that a marriage is in trouble.
Contempt….
1 a : the act of despising : the state of mind of one who despises : disdain b : lack of respect or reverence for something
2 : the state of being despised
He also believes that the presence of contempt can also predict how many colds you get…which in turn proves that the stress from these negative emotions breaks down the immune system. That is easy enough for us to understand, right. Well, I instantly think about another angle of this. I don’t have an ounce of contempt in my marriage and yet my immune system has had a breakdown. What if I take a minute to look at my relationship with myself? Holy shit….I have had despise before over the state of my body. I have talked down to myself on regularly scheduled occasions. My lack of respect for myself at times is overwhelming to think about. When I look at my relationship with myself in these terms, it is easy for me to see that I have to be WAY more mindful about loving myself and repairing the damage! Good thing I have recently found new tools to talk to myself which will help in this repairing process. I have the ultimate payoff in my marriage…that Jake and I have created the safest place possible to explore our relationship with ourselves. To be able to strip down to the most vulnerable selves and begin to heal. I know that Jake can’t do any of this hard work for me, but he is quite possibly the #1 coach and cheerleader I could have ever attracted for myself. Thank you Jake for being the Quan! I fall harder and harder for you each day. Because you have shown me an unconditional love in our marriage, you have helped me to fall in love with myself. I am more mindful of the love in my heart for the first time in my life and I am beyond excited about the journey before me. Thank you for being you! Thank me for being me;)

July 2, 2010 - 12:46 am Aaron :) - Holy Crap!! of course! I was walking through borders only yesterday and that book "randomly" 5 eisles away caught my eye and i picked it up decided not to get it but said to myself that if it came into my life again i would have to go back and get it!! CRAZY?? I think not ;) that's for letting me hang with you today :) your friendship means the world to me! :)

Raising Carlisle’s

Recently a friend of mine wrote me an e-mail that lit up my soul. I wanted to share parts of it because it is an aspect of mine and Jake’s life that we are very proud of. People are continually commenting on how well behaved our kids are. I usually pass it off with a thank you and walk away with a proud feeling. But I wanted to spend some time on these emotions and accomplishments. I do believe that our kids are a reflection of our fruits of labor…but most of the time, parenting doesn’t feel like labor at all. We have a lot of fun in our family and there is ALWAYS laughter present. Here’s some snippets of my friend’s e-mail…

“I watch you and Jake with your kids and see how well behaved they are, how they listen to you both, how they play with each other and can only hope our family ends up like yours. So I am asking for your feedback and input with how you raise your kids. How’d you do it? How do you parent/teach/guide and when and how do you correct bad behavior/poor decisions? What experiences have you had that we can draw from? Obviously we will continue to be the best parents we can be and learn ourselves but it’s always nice to ask for help or advice along the way.”

My response…
“My heart is so FULL from this kind e-mail. I have been thinking about this a lot and I think I have come up with the answer:) For Jake and I it all comes down to our marriage. I am pretty sure that this is the secret to being the best parent that you can be. The more time and effort we put into helping each other grow and loving each other in new ways, the more our kids reflect this love back to us.
I feel like a lot of the times people find their purpose in life and identity when they have children. That’s great…but at some point you are always brought back to the drawing board where you are forced to look beyond that title. Maybe the kids don’t meet your expectations, or they hurt you or each other…whatever. You are then forced to look at yourself and I think the difference comes from what you say to yourself in those moments. They are little individuals with their own amazing lives in front of them and the only thing Jake and I can do is give them tools. How and when they choose to use them will be entirely up to them.
As for disciplining…I think the most important thing that Jake and I have been conscious of is being on the same team! We have never played good cop/bad cop. We back each other up no matter what. Also, we are both quick to say that we are sorry and talk through the wrongs and rights. I always apologize for yelling or having to discipline if I am out of line and lost my patience. We are pretty stern with our kids and a lot of the time I feel like we are literally side by side correcting behavior. I don’ think that the details of ‘how’ we parent are as important as the overall big picture. LOVE. We focus on the good and build them up every opportunity we have. We are vulnerable in front of them. We are quick to point out our flaws and tell stories of how we screwed up. And we let them FEEL. We try not to tell them that they are wrong in what they feel….but there is usually a better way to handle those feelings.
I don’t know that this answers your question…I think what you want to know is whether or not you’re doing things the ‘right’ way….and of course you are. You are living your life just how you are suppose too. Everything is in your life for a reason. Just don’t lose your ability to grow and to be curious. These two tools may be the most important in your parenting life and your marriage. Change is good…and you can choose to be anyone you want to be at any given time. If you show your family that you support their changes no matter what that may be, they will always support yours!
It means the world to me that you wrote this and I am so proud that you would ask my advice. I don’t feel like I have anything figured out…I am always learning and change has become a welcomed friend. I just know that I don’t just love my family….I am IN love.”

So let’s recap…suggestion #1 from my experiences…FOCUS ON YOUR MARRIAGE. Be that supportive spouse that stays curious about the smallest of changes that your sig. other tries out. If you can find the curiosity in a marriage it will be easy-peesy with parenting. That way when they walk through the door with a new piercing, or tat with their love one’s name on their boob, you are quicker to say, “I see you…tell me about this” rather than “what the hell are you thinking, this isn’t you!” :)

Suggestion #2…Open arms, open mind, open heart. You have to stay open to change in life if you are craving positive changes and growth. Who’s to say what someone’s potential is or how far they can spread their wings? We don’t like it when people put limitations on us, so why does it come so naturally to that parenting voice in us. Or telling our spouse that their dream is unrealistic. Let them grow into the people that they are meant to be. Only they can know what that looks like and how far they will go!

Suggestion #3… Add a dog into your family:) It brings someone into the mix that you can all discipline together and love together!

Suggestion #4…Desire…a sense of longing or hoping…wish, fancy, fantasy; want, need, exigency. I think there is a ton of room for desire within a family, but it takes a conscious mind and curiosity to crave it. Not to mention, learning how to have hopes and desires without expectations. Dream together. Be vulnerable together. That is the recipe for soulfood within a family!

Suggestion #5…and finally…did I mention…WORK ON YOUR MARRIAGE;) Yeah it’s that important in my book.
Drop a love letter in the mail ….thanks for the amazing pic Tré-Baby:)
Jump up on his hip in public…WHO CARES!!! Just learn how to let go together. Help each other to find that courage to be anything you want to be.
Turn date night into a night where you try to find new tools of communication…don’t just consider a movie and dinner, “working on your marriage”. When was the last time you checked in with his/her “favorites” or dreams?
Read a book together.
Show your kids that showing affection never dies. Be the example of a marriage (and happiness) that you want for them one day….no matter what journey they take to get there.
Have friends over one night and actually talk beneath the surface…what are their dreams together? What are their struggles? Why don’t we talk more about marriages as a society when things are going good, instead of focusing on when they go bad. One day we are beyond curious about everything that makes our spouse the person they are, and then the next, we are saying…”yeah, but they have changes!” Well, no shit, they changed. At what point did you stop caring? The curiosity will fade if you don’t have any tools in the communication bag.

By no means do I think that Jake and I have this marriage and parenting thing perfected…or even figured out…but I do know that the journey is a beautiful one that is worth sharing and celebrating. I also know that we are right where we are suppose to be and I am in love with every second of it:)

Take a second to think about something that you are craving in your our marriage….now go give it to your spouse!
Take another second to figure out what that little child in you is craving…now go give it to your child! Tell them why you are proud of them and why you are proud of yourself. Just talk. They want to be seen and heard….and mainstream doesn’t leave a lot of time for either of those simple acts!

June 25, 2010 - 1:23 pm lroah - Fabulous post. You amaze me. :)

June 25, 2010 - 5:32 pm Amy - oh how I love this...it teaches me, it gives me positive feedback and reassurance in my own family, I love the tools you share!

June 28, 2010 - 3:17 pm Lindsey Viersen - Such a beautiful testimony of a beautiful family!

Talent Show

Oh yeah…it’s what you have all been waiting for…or at least Jalena has:) We missed her talent show this year and our compromise was that I told her that I would put her on my blog. I’m pretty sure that she thinks she is going to famous from this now. I am so proud of all the hard work she puts into to everything she does and I know that she is very proud of herself. Enjoy this little taste of what’s it’s like to live with a rockstar;) Stay tuned (or fast forward) for the credits at the end. It was a family affair and she didn’t get to the top alone. She has a dedicated team that loves and supports her in life:) Too fun!

June 15, 2010 - 10:42 pm amanda - It won't play :(

June 15, 2010 - 11:32 pm kathycarlisle - Try now:)

June 16, 2010 - 7:18 am Britt - oh, that so made my morning. her choreography is off the heezy!!! absolutely. positively. LOVED IT!! ....especially when she breaks from the soulful singing into the more freestyle rap. this was better than great. the smile i have right now is guaranteed to last the rest of the day! Thanks J! You're famous in my eyes!!!

June 16, 2010 - 8:05 am Elle J - Totally headed for fame ~ too cute! She and her crew Rocks!!!

June 16, 2010 - 12:10 pm Miranda - Mattea and I just watched this and we loved it! Mattea said "I want to be like her!" I am pretty sure you have found your biggest fan Jalena:)Great job and we love the rap...

June 16, 2010 - 4:10 pm Jake - My baby girl makes me smile?

June 16, 2010 - 7:33 pm amysurface7@comcast.net - amy says: i love her! that was so fun and i'm diggin her moves emilie says: i love jalena jack says: she's so great

June 17, 2010 - 1:35 am Murph - This rocked my day!!!!! WOW...... I have met this rock star.. in person even ~!!!!!! I'll be watching for more ;} Love you !!!

June 17, 2010 - 10:17 am Eryn - LUDA! Ha! I loved the rap. Off the chain Lu.

June 17, 2010 - 12:20 pm amy - I feel so special to have seen this before the production! She is a star, it's in the genes!! She got it from her mama! ;)

June 17, 2010 - 12:22 pm amy - eta: um the credits had me in stiches!!

June 18, 2010 - 6:06 pm Jo - Jalena, can I pre-order my CD? Please?????? YOU TOTALLY ROCK!

June 21, 2010 - 3:45 pm Erin - Wow! Loved it! :)

June 22, 2010 - 3:05 pm Shyla - solidifies the Carlisles as my favorite family ever. haha Well done my darling Jalena.

June 24, 2010 - 12:10 pm Willow - big, HUGE smile :)

Jump!

“We flood our minds with words! They mesmerize and manipulate us, masking the truth even when its set down squarely in front of us. To discover the underlying reality, I’ve learned to listen only to the action.” (Judith M. Knowlton)

The other day we went to Ft. Vancouver with Jamie’s preschool class and it was a blast! They did so well sitting through the explanations, the labels, and the teaching….but to see them hit that open field….WOW! I am fascinated by kids’ ability to live in the moment when they come across such an empty canvas. There was no question as to what they were going to do. They ran, jumped, fell, spun, screamed, laughed and not one of them thought it through first. We got them to sit still for a second while I tried to get a shot of all of them in a line…but then the lesson came….Why are you trying to hold them down…let them be free? “O.K. now jump! 1,2,3…jump.” Of course they weren’t going to be able to do it together:) So I just kept telling them over and over and they painted the most beautiful picture before my very eyes….I call it “Jumping for Joy”. This is what joy looks like to a 5 year old:)

And these pictures were taken in one of the preserved houses in the fort. The first thing I thought of was how much we have complicated so much about our lives. Yes, we have better science now and faster ways of doing things and everything is so far advanced….but there is just something in me that craves simplicity right now. My medicine cabinet is starting to look a lot more like this instead of little brown bottles that have Mr. Yucks all over them.

And I hope that my kitchen continues to get more and more simplified as I weed through new thought patterns about what real food is and what our bodies crave. Keeping out the boxes of processed habits, and bringing in more glass containers that hold true nourishment for my healthy body! The kitchen tools that I have accumulated and love however, will not be looking more like the kitchens of the 1800’s;) I love my Pampered chef items and my electric stove. I’ll save the brick ovens for the pizzerias is the area.

I can’t believe I have never been to the Fort until now! There were so many pic opportunities, my mind was on overload! Oh, and the kids had a blast too;)


And you know we just had to see a heart appear on such a wonderful day filled with love. Jamie wanted to make sure that I was getting it in the shot….yep, I got it Jame:) lol

Speaking of wetting my pants… I told Jamie to show the girls what you are suppose to do in a outhouse that they were turning into a girls fort vs. a boys fort. Apparently, they had never been in one…but, Jame was all over it! He even got into the ‘Thinker’ pose and taught some boys how to execute the look once they came into the boy’s side:)

I’d say all in all, it was a perfectly, perfect day that I LOVED spending with my little man!

Now go find a field and just run. Run if its sunny. Run if it’s rainy….just go run and throw your hands up in the air and laugh. Just see what happens….I’m guessing you’ll find JOY in the simple excercise!

June 9, 2010 - 11:14 pm shannon sewell - sooo cute... love all the pre-school fun/eagerness/little peopleness. ah man.. miss that. i'm sure they had a total blast with this :) ~S

June 12, 2010 - 1:08 am Erin - I am in love with all of this... Can I please have some of these photos... not to put in the kids books, but just for me... I love what you captured of this day and now that it is all over it seems to have that much more meaning for me. :( I love love love this. Thank you for your time and expertise... xoxo