I don’t know that another quote has hit me with such an impact as this one…
“And then the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was greater than the risk it took to bloom.”
I was coasting.
Life was living me.
I didn’t feel like I had much control.
I was fearful most of my day and didn’t even know it.
I was getting so comfortable in my labels that everytime someone or something would challenge them, my ego would go into assault mode;)
I was happy more than sad, but some days it was hard to tell why it was the opposite.
I had grown comfortable saying that I wasn’t dreamer and had no imagination.
When you would ask me about faith, I would say that I grew with 12 years of Catholic education.
When asked, “How are you doing, or How’s your day”, I would answer with a ‘GOOD’ or maybe even a ‘GREAT’.
I received a diagnosis that was riddled with fear and sucked the hope right out of my sails…I had never know a greater fear.
I guess what I am saying here is that my life has always been good (blessed) and there has never been anything to really complain about. I have always felt lucky. I didn’t notice that there was a choice being posed to me each day that was asking, “are you ok with this day being good, or did you want to try to make it amazing?” In the last year I don’t think there has been a day that has passed that I didn’t answer the question “how are you” with either a ‘great, spectacular, fantastic, awesome, delightful’, and any other word that I grasp for to depict all the joy I have in my days. And believe me when I say that IT IS a choice. We have the choice everyday to make the day awesome. I know that the greatest tool that I have used to change my life from good to awesome has been GRATITUDE! I am so grateful for my ability and courage to open up and learn. I have had many tools come into my life to help me:)
I am no longer coasting….I am going full force and leaving a wake behind me!
I am living life like I never knew was possible.
I have never felt more in control of anything in my life. I am finally learning what it means to go with the flow of life, not against.
I shake off labels daily in order to stay open to growth. I will always be in ‘process’ and I am always practicing the shedding labels to get to “I AM”
I can’t remember the last sad day that I had…and when the sadness is there, I am fully equipped to handle it and grow from it. It’s just an emotion….with NO story;)
I am a HUGE dreamer with a fully intact imagination…for the first time in my life, my dreams are FAR outweighing my fears!
Faith…well, it comes down to my ONE TRUTH. Thank you God for creating me in all my spectacularness and for showing me how to believe in ME!
As for the diagnosis….what a silly little thing that I laugh about with sheer joy NOW. I am so thankful for the dis ease in my body and that I was strong enough to desire the change! I AM HEALED. And I am definitely an example of vibrant health. I just never knew that I could ever physically feel this good (not even in my 20’s did I feel like this!) I am blessed to have met MS. Carlisle and learn from her. I was just a bud waiting to open up, but like most of us, I was stubborn and it took something big to crack me open:)
If things are just good, or even great…I ask you…could it get better? What would it take to make your life Amazing, Spectacular, or Fantastic? I am pretty sure that a great place to start is to bring some of the amazing people that are going to be at mine and Tiana’s event will be a great start:) To be in a room full of passion, encouragement and energy that will make you want to bloom to your fullest potential will rock your soul. Let’s stop letting life live us with all the excuses in the world as to why we aren’t making the changes that are on our lists:) Let’s find the bravery in a community to be who we want to be and learn to love ALL of who we are now! If you are reading this and you are in my life…YOU ARE AWESOME! I love you just the way you are…you inspire me…and thank you for loving the old me, the new me, and the me I will be tomorrow:) Tomorrow’s a new day, I am a new me!
