“Faith is a state of openness or trust. To have faith is to trust yourself to the water. When you swim you don’t grab hold of the water, because if you do you will sink and drown. Instead you relax, and float. And the attitude of faith is the very opposite of clinging to belief, of holding on. In other words, a person who is fanatic in matters of religion, and clings to certain ideas about the nature of God and the universe, becomes a person who has no faith at all. Instead they are holding tight. But the attitude of faith is to let go, and become open to truth, whatever it might turn out to be.”
Alan Watts.
I believe that one of my many prayers in the past century has been to have a stronger faith. As many of you dealing with a disease of any kind may know….once you begin your healing journey, the fork in the road goes from about 4 prongs (paths) to about 400 prongs. There is always a new path in front of me….new diets, new information, new symptoms, new people, new stories of healing, new stories of deterioration, new hope, and the list goes on. Well, I don’t think that I have ever been this AWAKE and conscious in my life. I know that I have a new faith inside me that I can honestly say, that on any given day good or bad, that I am exactly where I am meant to be. This to me is faith. I didn’t find it in the architecture of a church. I didn’t find it in the bible (don’t get me wrong…I know there are a lot of amazing answers in both places). I found it in the one place that God intended for all of us to go….in ME. I know that I am beyond blessed to have this perspective in my life so early. I know that I could have lived my whole life wondering what everyone else is thinking and doing. The way I was living wasn’t matching up to my prayers though….to be a better person, to have a stronger faith, to live a healthier life, to make a difference, to be an inspiration, to follow my instincts, or to be the best person that I could be”. I wasn’t going to find these answers in mainstream.
Remember the Nemo analogy that I refer to? The fast paced jetstream that we are all caught in, trying to climb on other people’s paths, but to no prevail we learn it is too slipper to stay on (the pace is all wrong for you and your family)? Then something (a diagnosis, an alarm of sorts in your body that you have been too busy to approach) shoots you out of the jet stream and you realize how peacefully, quiet it is in this new space. You just drift in silence and look back in at the chaos (mainstream) and know without a doubt that you don’t want to go back to all that. But as you are looking at all these new options in life and hearing your own voice for the first time…You look around wondering (wishing) if there is anyone else out here with you? I know that we all think that we are making conscious decisions all the time. And I wouldn’t say that this isn’t a true statement….I just think that we are more numb as a society then we want to ever admit. We want to follow the norm and fit in. We want to take the pill that fixes it all right now. We want to find someone else’s success story and follow their blueprints rather than adventure on our own. I’m talking about work life, diet, raising our children, or following a faith. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, it’s great to learn from other paths and stories…..I just think that we need to be more conscious about our choices and trusting that we are exactly where we are suppose to be. What would it look like in your own life to be less “mainstream”?
Maybe you take your kids out of one of the 3 activities each that is cutting into family time and numbing your marriage.
Maybe you get off the antidepressants and really take some time to find some tools to heal the familiar pain on the inside for good.
Maybe it’s telling yourself that you will never go on another “diet” because you are changing your lifestyle.
Maybe it’s going on a marriage retreat instead of surrounding yourself with friends and parties where there is nothing but surface talk.
Maybe it’s learning how to say ‘no’ and not over committing to anyone but yourself.
Or getting out of that damn job that takes more from your happiness then it brings in. It’s suffocating your passion and slowly straggling that inner voice inside that has been telling you for years that you are suppose to be doing something different. What the hell are we waiting for! Who gave you the magic, crystal ball that tells you that you are guaranteed another 20 years? What are we all waiting for? I know that excuses make a compelling case….but, would they be so compelling if you were told you only had a couple more years to spend here on this Earth?
What if there is something in us that was specifically placed in front of us to wake us up? What ‘diagnosis are you sitting on…totally ignoring why it is in your life? What kinds of pills are you taking that you have accepted as a way of life. Have you learned to just deal with migraines, hormones, cholesterol, diabetes, MS;). However big or small, what if ‘it’ is in your life to WAKE YOU UP? What if you were never meant to carry it your whole life, or even for a month? What if you KNEW that your body could heal itself and you were the one getting in way? How could you adjust your life to get some balance?
I know that there is some strong science out there to hide behind for many of the diagnosises that we receive, or there are enough people on the internet that you have surrounded yourself with to make it more of the norm. But what would it look like to break out of all those boxes that we try to put ourselves in out of fear? When we say “It’s hereditary” is this the ultimate excuse not to do a thing about it. When we say that “it’s becoming more and more common and I’m actually in the norm”, is this to say that we are still trying to “fit in” in this world of so many unknowns. Because it you sit in the same box for too long..things get stagnant….you stop growing. We were meant to be the best that we can be and there is no ending to that. We don’t ever really reach our goal and say…”yay, I made it, I am officially the best I can be, I think I’ll stop growing now”;) Just look to nature to see what the lessons are. When we stop growing, we slowly stop living a little more each day. The new experiences stop because there is too much fear that we don’t even recognize anymore. Unwanted growths start clinging on because we aren’t even conscious of our stagnant life.
So take some time to look at things a little closer. Find the bravery inside of you to face your fears that you have gotten all too comfortable in. Find the courage to drop the labels that you no longer want to carry…or at least be curious as to what life would look like if you decided to try a new one on. Sometimes when we follow another’s path we can’t see the hidden dangers that lie ahead on out own. Can you see the hidden spider. He jumped out at my lens a second after I took this shot. I don’t know how comfortable I am with macro come to think of it;)
We all have an amazing strength inside of us that is at our fingertips any time that we need it. It is the most valuable tool that we could ever carry. It’s faith. Having the faith to know that everything is happening for reasons that can only be seen in the bigger picture. Trust that you have the strength to grow from any obstacle that is put in your way. Nature is always defying the odds and working miracles everyday. God has gifted us with valuable tools right in nature to teach us the most. So don’t take my word for it…or your pastors, priests, or whatever….go explore your faith and see what it looks like from the inside out. It doesn’t have to be fully understood or justified, it’s just a feeling inside that you know that everything is going to be ok, that you are not alone, and that you are loved. Sometimes we find just this is a community, a congregation, or whatever. But I know that the faith comes from within.
Today I grateful for the faith that has always be gifted to me, and that I am now consciously growing everyday.
“This is a new day. I am a new me. I think differently. I act differently. Others treat me differently. My new world is a reflection of my new thinking. It is a joy and delight to plant new seeds, for I know these seeds will become my new experiences. All is well in my world.”
