When it came time to talk about a possibility of a transplant, there was stalling from all parties…the hospital, the family, my Dad. But the time had come where something had to give, because he just couldn’t stay on dialysis for any longer! Because 5 out of the 7 kids carry a mutated gene that my Dad has, they were immediately ruled out as doners. Yours truly was ruled out because I have a brilliant MS diagnosis permanently on my record;) So that left my Mom and my sister that lives in Taipei. After discussions, my Dad said that he would rather receive from my Mom. My Dad was still in the process of getting cleared by the doctors to do the transplant, but my mom was brave enough to begin the process of getting cleared while we waited for an answer on my Dad’s end. All the while I can hear Jake’s voice of two years ago saying, “why is no one looking into giving a kidney if we all know he needs one? I would give him mine.” I remember the moment vividly when we were up visiting my sister in Seattle waiting to hear the news from my Mom’s results. We could tell from the dismay on her face that it was a no:(
This was the moment that she told my dad with huge tears of disappointment in her eyes and apologizing to him for not being able to give her kidney. It was so intense and I still can’t explain why my first reaction to intense moments like this is to run and grab my camera, but I am sure glad that I did, because I was able to capture this tender moment. My dad looked up at her with his big banjo, brown eyes and said, “It’s ok, I’m not mad…you did your best. You’re still my favorite buddy”.

My immediate reaction was, “Next up, Jake Carlisle!” Jake and I had had many conversations about it up to this point, so I felt confident in fancying the thought in the time of despair:) This is the part when I start to glow about the man that I am in love with. Not only did he say yes, he started the process faster than I could get myself home from Seattle. And he didn’t let up until he got the ‘yes’ that he knew he would find on this journey. He started in November 2011 and here we are in June 2012 celebrating his YES! I credit him for this possibility even arising to save my family from the endless worry that we had become accustomed to. He is like no other person that I have ever met and I continue to be in awe of his beautiful spirit and ability to face adversity with the attitude of “well, let’s DO something”. There are so many moments, words and moments that I have been able to witness in this process that I am inspired by daily.

One moment was when Jake and I were having an intimate conversation (that of course I would share with the world later:) and he told me that this whole thing was a no-brainer. “You’re Dad will die soon if I don’t do this, and there are no other options on the table. I feel like I am giving my kidney to my own father.” Many of you know the story of Jake and his biological Dad, for those of you don’t, it is another Oprah story that you will have to read in his book one day:) Because he never grew up loving a father, my Dad was his first Father-love! Just between you and me, I am pretty sure that if Willie (his biological dad) needed a kidney before he died, I have a hunch Jake would have offered to him as well. He’s just that kind of guy! There is so much healing on all ends of this transplant. Jake giving life to a father figure. Dad taking an offering of such magnitude from an ‘outsider’ of the family. Healing of a racial past that wasn’t my Dad’s to carry, just history that he played into. Helping my family to let go of fear and worry through his relaxed, optimistic spirit. He has brought a love to my family that I don’t think we have ever known.

Another moment that made me gasp in awe was when he told me the other night that he was starting to feel the extent of what he was about to do, physically and mentally. I started to go to my worry place thinking that he was going to show me doubt, but what came next out of his mouth was sheer inspiration. I asked him what he meant and how he felt and he replied in one simple word….”COURAGEOUS, I feel courageous about the whole thing”. This is when I burst into tears and told him that the word he picked for the year was courage!!! Then I think I told him to be more careful with his word choice next year;) Our conversation continued about what he admired about my Dad. Immediately he said, his legacy. He has build such an loving model of family and Jake has always been enamored with what Mom and Dad have created together. As you can tell from the masses below…I think just about anyone would be in awe of this brood (by sheer mass alone)!!

There is so much play, fun, laughter, respect, loyalty, bliss and absolute chaos in this family and I am so inspired by my Dad’s dreams. He never grew up in a family of blood relatives to give him a sense of belonging, so I am pretty sure that the desire to belong guided him to the words that he would tell my mom every time she would question whether or not she wanted another baby….”trust me Marcia”. I’m sure glad that she did, because she was already questioning him by me (#6).

So here is to trusting Dad that he can do this. That there is a bigger plan then we can see. Here’s to my husband for proving to my family that anything is possible. I am beyond happy going into this surgery and I completely trust in the plan. I am happy that my family has all chosen HOPE over fear and worry and that we have come together stronger than ever. Here’s to the journey to come, celebrating life and loving who we are and that we are all here for big reasons:)

This was at the little church out at the Lake and everyone gave Jake a beautiful blessing (I won’t attach the video, just in case the song wasn’t as beautiful as I remember;)

If you haven’t already checked out the video that I created for my Dad’s birthday, check it out and have a good ol’ cleansing cry with us!

Cue my next tea date…the beautiful Katie Todd! I met Katie at a I AM WOMAN workshop (another post in itself). She does some incredible energy work and she’s an incredible artist. Melinda was able to visit for a bit and I couldn’t have been more delighted to sit back and watch the sparks fly. They started exchanging cards, talking to each other about their passions and dreams and I’m pretty sure the rest will make history;) Our conversation alone was enough to send me over the edge of love for the day, but it was still just the beginning of a magical day.

Inside Katie is telling me about this Naturopath friend of hers that works in the building and that she hadn’t seen her in a long time…Guess who comes walking out and into our bubble of synched energy….of course! I guess this one could be mistaken as less than amazing, because she actually worked in the building and it was more likely to see her. But really, what are the odds that Katie would start talking about her unless she just met my friend Melinda? Of course..

Not enough for ya to go, WOW….then try this one on for size…
I start having a conversation (surface) with the man next to me because we were sharing a # for our food and you practically sit on each others laps in this restaurant. It might have seemed like an insignificant conversation, but it was just cracking the door for him to jump into mine and Katie’s convo;) Katie starts having a conversation with me about some amazing work that she did in Japan years ago in a VERY small town. Well, wouldn’t you know it…my new friend to the right had been to the same small town in Japan, continents away. OF COURSE!!  As they engaged in a conversation about the tsunami among other things, a wave of synchronicies began to crash down upon us all. She says she’s an artist and that she has a studio in the area.

He says, I’m a photographer…OF COURSE he is! Where is your studio? She tells him and he says…”that’s where my photos are displayed”. She says, “holy shit, I always wondered who the heck was taking up the wall space for this long”. She was recently wondering if she needed to contact the artist that has had his work in her office building forever to ask about space. Of course…

Once we recovered from this one…Katie and I said our goodbyes to our new photographer friend and engaged in an passionate conversation about our lives, our life’s purpose and Lord knows what else. As soon as we started talking health and wellness, I started to feel a pull (or “sandpaper”) to my left. Of course, the lovely lady is studying medical jargon! I leave it alone for a bit, because I don’t want to be too ridiculous;) But it wasn’t long before I engaged with her because i knew how hard hse was having to work to not engage with our awesomeness:) lol!  Cue Alie…the spectacular nursing student that is passionate about all things organic, preventative, energy, and everything else we all started spewing! Of course!

Wait a second…how the heck did Tiana get into the mix?
Oh, that’s right…I was suppose to call her after my teas to try to catch up with her for lunch. Seeing how my teas were running WAY over and I had temporarily lost consciousness in the real world, I forgot to call her. As I was talking to Katie about her (Tiana), I glance out the window and notice a beautiful woman walking by. You can imagine how loud I screamed, F COURSE” when I realized that it was HER!!! She was tired of waiting for me to call and picked a “random” joint to catch a bite and she was craving Prasad. Of course:) Are you tired of the amazingness yet…well there is more!

When I was telling Tiana about all the craziness that was going on, I just happened to catch two more serendipitous signs. One of the phrases that started the curiosity of my whole ‘life changing’ journey is ‘I Am’. My beloved friend Jesh first planted the seed in my head years ago, only to see it would grow into one of the biggest, juiciest pieces of goodness in my soul! OF COURSE Katie’s water bottle has her logo that says this! Then my wondering eyes lazer beamed in on a Wanderlust flyer. The same wanderlust festival that my friend Dana asked me to consider roadtripping with her this summer. So OF COURSE I took this as a sign that was suppose to do just that and I signed up that night:) I can’t take anymore of this and I am the one writing it! There were so many more amazing details about this day that I can’t manage to put into silly words. Tiana and I did end up going to check out a gluten free bakery she has been eyeballing and it couldn’t have been a better ending to a blessed day. OF COURSE…this is my life and I LOVE it!

“And then the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was greater than the risk it took to bloom.”

I was coasting.
Life was living me.
I didn’t feel like I had much control.
I was fearful most of my day and didn’t even know it.
I was getting so comfortable in my labels that everytime someone or something would challenge them, my ego would go into assault mode;)
I was happy more than sad, but some days it was hard to tell why it was the opposite.
I had grown comfortable saying that I wasn’t dreamer and had no imagination.
When you would ask me about faith, I would say that I grew with 12 years of Catholic education.
When asked, “How are you doing, or How’s your day”, I would answer with a ‘GOOD’ or maybe even a ‘GREAT’.
I received a diagnosis that was riddled with fear and sucked the hope right out of my sails…I had never know a greater fear.

I guess what I am saying here is that my life has always been good (blessed) and there has never been anything to really complain about. I have always felt lucky. I didn’t notice that there was a choice being posed to me each day that was asking, “are you ok with this day being good, or did you want to try to make it amazing?” In the last year I don’t think there has been a day that has passed that I didn’t answer the question “how are you” with either a ‘great, spectacular, fantastic, awesome, delightful’, and any other word that I grasp for to depict all the joy I have in my days. And believe me when I say that IT IS a choice. We have the choice everyday to make the day awesome.  I know that the greatest tool that I have used to change my life from good to awesome has been GRATITUDE! I am so grateful for my ability and courage to open up and learn. I have had many tools come into my life to help me:)

I am no longer coasting….I am going full force and leaving a wake behind me!
I am living life like I never knew was possible.
I have never felt more in control of anything in my life. I am finally learning what it means to go with the flow of life, not against.
I shake off labels daily in order to stay open to growth. I will always be in ‘process’ and I am always practicing the shedding labels to get to “I AM”
I can’t remember the last sad day that I had…and when the sadness is there, I am fully equipped to handle it and grow from it. It’s just an emotion….with NO story;)
I am a HUGE dreamer with a fully intact imagination…for the first time in my life, my dreams are FAR outweighing my fears!
Faith…well, it comes down to my ONE TRUTH. Thank you God for creating me in all my spectacularness and for showing me how to believe in ME!
As for the diagnosis….what a silly little thing that I laugh about with sheer joy NOW. I am so thankful for the dis ease in my body and that I was strong enough to desire the change! I AM HEALED. And I am definitely an example of vibrant health. I just never knew that I could ever physically feel this good (not even in my 20’s did I feel like this!) I am blessed to have met MS. Carlisle and learn from her. I was just a bud waiting to open up, but like most of us, I was stubborn and it took something big to crack me open:)

If things are just good, or even great…I ask you…could it get better? What would it take to make your life Amazing, Spectacular, or Fantastic? I am pretty sure that a great place to start is to bring some of the amazing people that are going to be at mine and Tiana’s event will be a great start:) To be in a room full of passion, encouragement and energy that will make you want to bloom to your fullest potential will rock your soul. Let’s stop letting life live us with all the excuses in the world as to why we aren’t making the changes that are on our lists:) Let’s find the bravery in a community to be who we want to be and learn to love ALL of who we are now! If you are reading this and you are in my life…YOU ARE AWESOME! I love you just the way you are…you inspire me…and thank you for loving the old me, the new me, and the me I will be tomorrow:) Tomorrow’s a new day, I am a new me!

I love that you hug me and still kiss me on the lips.
I love the way you love each other!
I love the reflection of myself in your amazing eyes.
I love the snuggles and physical touch that seems to light my soul on fire.
I love that you picked your Dad and I to be the ones that you would bless for a lifetime!

As you grow into older siblings…please remember the love that you have created for each other.
Remember…
you are always in awe of each other and make each other laugh everyday…
you openly tell each other that you love each other…
you are always thinking of your siblings when it comes to giving…
you are so proud of each other and are always bragging to others!
Remember that loves takes work when you are older and it should never be assumed that you love each other. There are many ways to tell each other that you are special in your life…remember to learn their love languages, and know that they might change.
Be curious about each other and all the phases and labels that you might try on. Tell each other how proud you are of the other and that you are lucky to have them in your life. Many times this is all assumed in sibling relationships, but I know that you guys will be conscious and curious about the amazing love that you had as youngsters and continue to feed off of it throughout your lives:)

Your Dad and I happen to be in love with every part of you. We vow to always be curious about the individual that you become, and love you unconditionally! We will always laugh and cry with you (even your Dad, after we get his tear ducts checked:). Just remember to love yourself fully…never know yourself fully…and then you will have plenty of love to give the world and all those around you. You are extraordinary kids and you make our hearts go beep, beep:) Happy Valentine’s Day, Lovey’s!!!

Do you ever feel like a plastic bag
Drifting through the wind
Wanting to start again

You just gotta ignite the light
And let it shine
Just own the night
Like the Fourth of July

Cause baby you’re a firework
Come on show ‘em what you’re worth
Make ‘em go “Oh, oh, oh!”
As you shoot across the sky-y-y

There is something catchy about this song. I have been drawn to the lyrics and I thought it was blog-worthy (not so much the song, as much as the message;) I recently took a little quiz in a book that my beautiful friend gifted me with…’Reinventing The Body, Resurrecting The Soul’ by Deepak Chopra. The quiz was titled, “Are you ready for change?” Out of 25 questions, I’ll give you 2 guesses as to how many yes’s I got:) You guessed-er Chester…25!!!! And this is what it says about getting this many yes’s….You have made a conscious effort to shift away from the old paradigm. You firmly accept alternative therapies. You seek conventional treatment only after you’ve tried holistic medicine, and even then you are wary of drugs and surgery. Your view of the body is likely to be ties to a spiritual journey that you take quite seriously. You identify with other seekers of higher consciousness. You believe firmly in hands-on healing. You question whether any form of materialism can really plumb the deeper mysteries of life (still going to have to explore this one with my desire to shop;). You have embraced personal transformation as a major goal in your life and want to change as rapidly as possible.”
How’s that for putting me in a nutshell. Isn’t that like the best fortune cookie on the planet:) I don’t think I have ever read something so profound that has resonated with me so much! Look at my word for the year…YES…already presenting itself to me in so many ways…it’s amazing !
I say YES to healing.
I say YES to an abundance of love…an abundance of money…and an abundance of inspiration!
I say YES to success.
I say YES to empowering myself. I know…I need to go rent YES Man, everyone keeps telling me;)
How many times in the day is God (Universe) presenting things to us (ie a happy couple, a gorgeous family, a beautiful friendship, health, money, happiness) and when we see these things, are we saying YES to them. Just try saying YES for the day, and see what transpires. Say YES to all that awesomeness that is surrounding you and know that you deserve it all! When you are shopping and you see something you love, but within an instant you label as something you can’t afford, or worst, don’t deserve:( Maybe it would be easier to pa attention to all those things that we are saying ‘no’ too in order to see where we should be saying ‘yes’.
I like to say to myself daily…”I am open, accepting and receptive to change”. Then I fill the rest of the day with supportive and loving talk to myself, with sprinkles of gratitude every chance I can get. This consciousness has changed my life…I am the change that I wished to see in myself.

Maybe you’re the reason why all the doors are closed
So you could open one that leads you to the perfect road…go open one of those doors that gives you the most resistance, the person that ‘rubs you the wrong way, say YES:)

Imagine this as a day in the life of my new job if you will…
Jake and I hop on a plane together for 4 days to Phoenix while his amazing mom comes to watch the crew. From there, we wake up to this each morning…

We go for walks under these (Jake’s favorite trees ever…I just learned this)

We do a little of this…

A little of that…

Then we start to meet our team from all over the US and Canada that absolutely blew our lids! I can’t even begin to tell you all about the incredible conversations that fed my soul the whole time I was there!

Then it is time to go to work…where we listened to Mr. Bill Lee (the owner of Econet and Univera). We listened to his mission, his purpose, and his passion…all of which just makes us feel like the luckiest people in the world that get to help him! Then we learned from all the who’s who’s and top earners in the company. There wasn’t a title that was too big for us to have complete access too. Whether it was our CEO, Stuart Ochiltree, or Bill (as I like to call him now that we are on a first name basis;), or our chief officer Stephen Cherniske! We were made to feel like we are a vital part of the whole company just by being there and being passionate about the products and how they have changed our lives!

What other company has a billionaire owner that has put 120% dedication into his father’s mission (now his company) of “bringing the best of nature to ALL humankind” and actually sits through EVERY bit of training that all of his associates go through, and actually enjoys every bit of it! WOW!

So as you have seen…we fed our souls with each other, and conversation with incredible peeps. Then we fed our minds and expanded our dreams with training that plays into every aspect of our lives. Then it was time to feed our bellies….Jake found the most amazing cafe that took the whole trip on up to Cloud 20 for me! Pomegranate Café. I think I might dream about this experience until we finally make a special trip over there to relive all the goodness. It is all organic, fresh, gluten free, vegan, what every you want!

Our next MUST HAVE tools in our kitchen!

Can you even stand it…it was an awesome bean and quinoa bowl!

To top it off, we shared a table with a woman that was sent straight from God to me! Her name is Carolyn and the synchronicities and awesomeness that our conversation entailed could never be described, but let’s just say that I love her and I don’t even ‘know’ her! I’m sure at some point you will hear how she came into my life again:)

Speaking of LOVE…This is Susan and I love her as well! This is the amazing woman that came into my life about 6 months ago and brought one of the most inspiring gifts into our family’s life ever. Thank you Susan for helping me to open my mind and heart to an opportunity that has helped up to get the balance right in our life of our dreams finally outweighing our fears!  Plus, you’re a really great roommate and leader. Jake and I will forever be grateful for your kindness and guidance!

Thank you to Univera for rocking our souls and presenting so many answers for the many things that we were asking for in life. I could not be happier to have my hubby by my side finding our power and purpose in life together. We have never felt this healthy in our life and for this I have an immense amount of gratitude in my heart for this man!

So was it  work? Or was this vacation? I am grateful that it was BOTH! I know the next pic doesn’t make much sense to anyone that’s not in the business, but here is a little glimpse of our intentions for our financial dreams coming true and blessing our life. Here’s to meeting goals together that feed our family’s total wellness. Here’s to us having health, wealth and purpose and being able to share it with the world. Thanks for letting me share my passion as always on here!

Oh and incase you didn’t get to see the family “ring in the new year with some Carlisle love” card this year…here it is! Caution…it will make your heart laugh harder than it has all month;) Don’t forget to pick your word for the year!

Inside spread

Back…my word is YES…and I can’t believe how much it has already graced my life…can’t wait to write about it:)

We decided to paint the room grey with the majority of the accents, black, white and yellow (with a couple splashes of other colors). I am working on a project to go above the bed and it involves newpapers…so it is going to tie all this awesomeness together just perfectly! It is sparkign a creative outlet in me that is feeding my soul! I am incorporating all my other passions as well, so that this room will fill our guests with more love then they can handle. I want staying with our family to be a soul feeding experience. Where they come to grow and connect with a desire to be a do better in their life. A place where we can inspire each other’s lives and fill each other up with ao much love they will feel like exploding! Hotel Carlisle will be about wellness. love, mindfulness, and gratitude! Who’s in:)

I got these incredible pillows from Lindsey and Mark…just because they love me:) I was elated when I got them in the mail and cried when I felt all the love rush out of them into me!

Then I got this perfect little frame for my birthday from them a couple weeks later!I know, they are that amazing!!!  Is is not the coolest, EVER! I love you guys!

Then these two gifts came into my life and set me over the edge….The word frame is from my beloved Jacque (aka JawJaw Binks:) I am pretty sure that it made my heart flutter as much as when I opened my “Up” painting from Jake last Christmas. Then my Bestie….Tiana, pulled out a combination of gifts, including this journal that had me feel all week like I was the most special girl in the world. She also included a cute magnet and a healing bracelet as well that I see and feel everyday! Are you just dying? I am so damn thankful for all the amazing people in my life and my heart oozes gratitude from moments of being on the receiving end of this love language!

When it comes to gift giving…I LOVE to give as well! It takes everything to the next level of specialness when I get my friend Karilyn involved though:) I know you remember her…she is the mastermind behind Onesie Wonderland and she has a HUGE talent;) Currently she is rocking the worlds of many with her new-found photography talent in Kansas:) I miss her, but we get to talk often. I am so proud of her! She is really starting to know just how amazing she is and her shine is getting brighter and brighter everyday! Here is what she made for little Jersey Lou:) (sorry if I spoiled the surprise Linds…they’re in the mail). Don’t they just make you want to cry, they are so cute?

So in the spirit of the holidays…put some thought into those gifts…it doesn’t have to be expensive…it’s all about the thought and love that goes into them!  Jake and I aren’t buying gifts for each other this year because we are giving the gift of health to each other and our loved ones….so now I am going to have to put some real thought into making a gift that showers him with love and makes him feel like he is the luckiest guy in the world….hmmm…what to do, make or sing:)

Which leads me to one of my proudest stories I have told lately. These are my friends Mark and Lindsey and you may remember them from here I was blessed enough to tell their love story before it expanded. They were one of the first “Day in the life” shoots that I did. Mark called me about a month before Lindsey was to give birth. She and I had dreamed about me being able to be there to capture the birth but they live in Cali. These two are so into surprises and Mark takes the cake on this one. He planned and willed this beautifully, perfect moment to take place. It really couldn’t have worked out more amazing. I talked to Lindsey around 2:00 in the afternoon with beginning signs of labor and by the time I got there on the next flight, it was 9:00 and it was go time! I was there for the whole Shabang!

Mark’s mom was patiently knitting the whole time. I love this picture, not just because of the moment, but because of the awesome pictures behind them;)

.
We stayed at the house until midnight and then it was off to the real show…


These moments with Mark are incredible for me. There was nothing more beautiful than watching his emotions go from admiration, confusion, helplessness, nervousness with everything inbetween, and ending is sheer joy:) The ultimate dance of support in their marriage that they have never experienced to this degree. The ultimate gift from a wife to her family. The insane gift from God that none of us will be able to fully wrap our minds around.

From the time of being admitted to the birth it was less than 5 hours and she barely made a peep. Did I mention this was her first:)

Is there anything more intense than going from the moment above to this amazingness!!!!!

I mean how lucky am I? I got to be there for the WHOLE story…down to the moment when we all discovered for the fist time that she had this adorable dimple:)

The difference from being on drugs or a c-section…if you see his watch it’s 5:30 something and she was born at 5:19am and Lindsey is already on the phone with her mom and sister sharing her epic story!

SHEER BLISS!!!! This one is making me cry all over again…PS I was hysterical at this point trying to take pictures, not wanting to miss a moment.

ELATION!!! There isn’t anything else that mattered in this moment for these 3. This is the glue that will bind their love forever. This is the moment that no woman will ever forget if she was one of the lucky ones to feel the ultimate love and approval (from within and from her spouse).

Welcome Jersey Lou…the little heifer that she was coming out of her momma well done;) lol


I had the important roll of using the sucker on her for the first time! I don’t know if there enough words to describe how proud I was of my friend on that October day. I was honored to be a part of something so intimate and filled with greatness exploding in our hearts for years to come. How do you thank friends enough for gifting me with this story. I have never felt such gratitude or felt more special outside of my own birthing stories. I feel like I am the luckiest girl that they would share this moment with me…which is in turn was going to be shared with my whole blogging world;)

To Jersey Lou….I hope that these pictures and this amazing video help you to get a glimpse at how amazing your parents are and how much love you were surrounded with as you came into this world! Your Mom is going to be modest when she tells you about the story…but I will tell you that she is nothing short of a ROCKSTAR the way she brought you into this world.

I couldn’t help but feel stronger than ever that this is the ultimate gift that God puts on this Earth to show us that anything is possible. If we can make a HUMAN BEING…then what is stopping us from knowing without a doubt, that our bodies are capable of healing ANYTHING. Our bodies already know what to do whether it is getting rid of cancer, healing damage from MS or making and birthing a baby…it’s our habits, lifestyles and minds that get in the way. Thank you Lindsey and Mark for loving me. For sharing so many reminders and tools that I needed to witness again to carry on my journey of healing. And for gifting me with one of the most special moments in my life. I was able to witness a birth closer to my own then I could have dreamed up…so that I could take a moment to proud of myself all over again and to see the magic that God gave us 3 times! Today my heart is full of gratitude and I am thankful you are all in my life!